The bump obsession

I’m obsessed with my teen foster daughters baby bump. There, I said it. Admitting is the first step.

When teen mom walked into our home newly pregnant I felt a variety of emotions flowing thought my heart and mind. In the beginning I had so much anger and bitterness towards the tiny little blip living inside of her. I was jealous at the fact that I couldn’t carry a baby in my womb like her. While she still doesn’t have the slightest clue about how to care properly for a baby,or the fact that Mountain Dew is not a sufficient liquid to intake while pregnant, my anger and jealously are slowly subsiding.

The other night I walked into her room to check on her and make sure she had put her clothes away. She was standing by her closet hanging a few shirts and I suddenly noticed her belly. It seemed like all of a sudden it had popped out and it was very evident that she was in fact pregnant. I made a comment to her about how her body had changed. She openly talked about how she had been feeling the baby move for a couple of days and it was “weird” feeling. She said the baby was moving at that moment. Reluctantly, I asked her if I could touch her belly and feel. She said yes, and allowed me to place my hand on her stomach. She said “right here” and I moved my hand where she pointed. In that moment I felt the baby wiggle inside of her. I had known all along that she was pregnant, but this seemed to confirm that even more.

Days have passed and I have touched her bump more times than I can count on my two hands. It’s so fascinating to watch her stomach grow and I love it even more that teen mom allows me to intrude on her personal space more than I should be. When I asked  her about my touching her bump she replied ” it annoys me when everyone at school touches me, but your my mom, its ok.” My heart felt happy. She trusts me enough to send positive vibes via my hand on her bump, I couldn’t be more honored.

I am not sure the exact moment that my feelings changed, and I am still feeling a mix of emotions that aren’t always positive, but everyday I am making progress. Tomorrow I take teen mom in for her 20 wk anatomy scan/ gender ultrasound. I am hoping that I can be of support to her and maintain the positive feelings once we find out the gender of the baby inside her.