Some days……I just can’t

Infertility sucks. every single day I ache. I ache for a baby, for a way of parenting that doesn’t require consent forms, court, 3rd party parenting, and parenting times.

Little girl has been a complete joy. In her short 110 days here, she has made great strides, and overcome issues that I thought we wouldn’t be able to hurdle over. As usual, in typical kid fashion, she has shown resiliency and adaptability in being a kid who, given the chance can overcome the impossible and thrive with the correct family.

Lately I haven’t had it in me to document our foster parenting journey. The end of the day comes and I am just exhausted. It takes everything in me to finish the day and rest up for the next day of drama.

because, quite frankly, it sucks. I just cant keep putting myself through the emotional trauma, added stress, and struggles that go with this journey to becoming a parent. I feel like every time I have a need to blog its a complaint and the same old story of disgust. It has been mentioned many times that our area has a foster parent deficit. I know exactly why…. The way we are treated and the expectations set for us are unrealistic and stressful on a marriage. The expectation that we are required to do everything correctly and the emphasis that birth parents only need to do sup par expectations is taxing and creates a toxic situation for all involved.

I don’t know what direction we are headed as foster parents or how easy our surrogacy journey will play out. I do know that in the coming weeks we prepare to go off the grid and leave behind the stress of foster parenting and focus on us as a couple. A couple who has endured so much in just under 2 years with 4 children who have entered our home and left a mark on our hearts.


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